马克·吐温
维基语录，自由的名人名言录
马克·吐温（Mark Twain，1835年11月30日—1910年4月21日），原名塞姆·朗赫恩·克列门斯（Samuel Langhorne Clemens），是美国的幽默大师、小说家、作家，同时也是演说家，被誉为“美国文学中的林肯”。
[编辑] 语录
- 谎言已走了半个世界，真话才在动身。
- 人生在世，必须善处境，万不可浪费时间，作无益的烦恼。
- 快乐不是一件自我存在的东西，它仅是与其他不快乐事情的一个相对比照，这就是快乐的整个情况。
"Happiness ain't a thing in itself --- it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. That's all it is."
- 缺乏钱财是所有罪恶的根源。（12月9日名言）
"The lack of money is the root of all evil."
- 真正的大不敬是不尊重别人的神。（5月25日名言）
"True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god."
- 人类是唯一如此的动物：他爱护他的邻居就如同爱护他自己一样，但是如果对方的宗教神学有问题，他会割断对方的喉咙。
"He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself, and cut his throat if his theology isn't straight."
- 每一个人生下来都拥有一项资产，它比其他所有的资产价值都高，就是他最后的一口气。
"Each person is born to one possession which outvalues all his others --- his last breath."
- 良好的教养在于隐藏我们对自己较佳的评价，以及隐藏我们对他人较差的评价。
"Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person."
- “名声”如同是蒸气，“声望”如同是意外，在地球上唯一可以确定的事情是被遗忘掉。
"Fame is vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion."
- “原则”是“偏见”的另一个名称。
"Principles is another name for prejudice."
- 被大胆说出的预言，从来不会被迷信的人认为是愚笨无趣的。
"Prophecies boldly uttered never fall barren on superstitious ears."
- “需要”不认识任何的“法律”。（5月26日名言）
"Necessity knows no law."
- 当你为爱情而钓鱼时，要用你的心当作饵，而不是用你的脑筋。
"When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain."
- 如果所有的人都是富有的，那么所有的人都是贫穷的。
"If all men were rich, all men would be poor."
- 经常要坦白地承认一项过失错误，这将使你的上司意料防备不及，才会给你一个机会去犯更多的错误。
"Always acknowledge a fault frankly. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more."
- 首先去取得你的事实，然后你才能够随心所欲的扭曲误解它。
"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you like."
- 一个人最危险的敌人是他自己的口舌。（5月28日名言）
"The deadly enemy of a man, his own tongue...."
- 一本怀有恶意的书籍将不会伤害到任何人，除了写作它的傻瓜。
"A malignant book would hurt nobody but the fool who wrote it."
- 预言是人类唯一一项无法经由练习而改善的技术。
"Prophesying was the only human art that couldn't be improved by practice."
- 当一个人阅读圣经时，他对上帝所知程度的惊讶是低于他对上帝所不知程度的惊讶。
"When one reads Bibles, one is less surprised at what the Deity knows than at what he doesn't know."
- 亚当真是一位老糊涂，他本来一切事情都很顺利，而且他已经成功的赢得社区内最漂亮女孩子的芳心，但是他对自己的征服成果却感到不满足，他必须去吃那一颗可怜的小苹果。
"What a fool old Adam was. Had everything his own way; had succeeded in gaining the love of the best looking girl in the neighborhood, but yet unsatisfied with his conquest he had to eat a miserable little apple."
- 印度拥有两百万个神，他们崇拜所有的这些神。在宗教上其他的国家都是穷人，印度是唯一的“百万富翁”。
"India has 2,000,000 gods, and worships them all. In religion other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire."
- 如果你收养了一只饥饿可怜的狗，并且让它舒适顺利，它将不会咬你，这便是一个人与一只狗之间最主要的差别。
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
- 没有一个世纪，也没有一个国家曾经缺少过这样的专家，他们能够知道上帝的心思，而且也愿意表示出来。
"There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were willing to reveal it."
- 有一个人从天堂来到人间旅游，他所使用的是有效三十天的减价票，他试图要把他的回程票卖掉。
"Ingersoll's story of the man that went down from heaven on a reduced-rate excursion ticket good for 30 days --- and tried to sell his return ticket."
- 为了练习，首先神造了傻人，然后祂创造了教育委员会。
In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made School Boards.
- 成功之道无他﹐唯一无所知又信心十足耳。
- 幽默是一股拯救的力量。
- 真理的靴子尚未穿上，谎言就跑遍世界。
- 虽然在一切的成长物中，爱情看上去是最快的，究其实却最迟缓。男男女女没有一个人晓得什么是十全十潜的爱，除非一直到他们结婚了二十五年之后。
Though love seems the fastest of all growths, it is really the slowest. No man or woman knows what perfect love is, until they have been married a quarter of a century.
- 在四月一日时，回想一下这一年来的其他364天自己在做些什么。
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- 我会用city而永不用Metropolis来表达城市，用cop而永不用policeman来表达警察，既然三丶四个字母可以赚七个仙，为什么要用长而赘的字呢？
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.
- 不要把事实告诉不值得的人。
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
- 真相比小说还要不可思议。
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
- 让我们陷入困境的不是无知，而是看似正确的谬误论断。
What gets us into trouble is not what we don't know
It's what we know for sure that just ain't so
- 猫与谎言最大的差别是，猫有九条命
- 每个人都是月亮,总有一个阴暗面,从来不让人看见
